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ChijAPballa12
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Name: THE BIG J
Gender: Male
Interests: basketball, helping taryn with precaLc, playing my guitar staying tite. But most importantly is GOD!!!
Expertise: ima big baLLa..if you see me..hoLLa!Almost da guitar now...but ya....
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
10/1/2003
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| I hate to have to blog at a time like this, but I feel it important to pay my respects. I believe that writing about this will also help me to get the heavy feeling off of my chest and to cope with the loss of a friend.
My friend called me tonight, and informed me that a friend of mine had died in a motorcycle accident. His name was Daisuke Kaneko, and as far back as I can remember, I've never seen a genuine frown or tear on his face. I went to school with this man since our middle school days back at Bowditch and then was blessed with his presence for the next four years at San Mateo High School. He was 21 years old when he had passed away. 21 years old...I am 21 years old...This is a scary thought. A 21 year old should be complaining about school or work, complaining that he or she is getting old to other people our age or to those slightly older who tell us to just simply "shut up." Looking back, I can't think of a single sad or angry memory of him. He used to try and teach me Japanese phrases, and I would learn them for like a week, and then forget about it later. We used to play basketball together too, and no matter how the game was going, he was always so happy. I might have been storming around because we were losing, but Daisuke always had a smile. He was down to earth, true, and genuine and being with him was just always a fun and exciting experience.
I was never terribly close with him and that is something I regret. He was always a good friend though--one who was always good for a laugh, one who was always there to make you smile, some one who would never betray you. He brightened up whatever was around him. These are just some small things about him that we should never forget...I know I won't.
Daisuke, man, I'm gonna miss you, and I know that you've affected so many people in so many great ways. Your smile and your humor was contagious. You had such a positive outlook on life and on everything, and this is something I admired you for. I will be praying for you and your family. Thanks for all that you've done for me and for everyone here in the bay.
On a slightly separate note,
I dislike the fact that a horrible tragic event is always what makes people (including myself) realize how precious and how short life can be. It hits us hard, and then unfortunately, things return to almost normal after a while and we lose that short piece of inspiration in our hearts that drove us to be better people, to get to know those most precious to us better, to not take things for granted. Like I said, I include myself in this because I know too well that it happens to me too. So I challenge you and me, to hold onto that inspiration longer than we normally do and to internalize it, to make it a part of who we truly are so that we can ALWAYS strive to be that better person. Daisuke definitely always had that positive outlook, and that is something I will take with me.
Here is the news link:
http://www.ktvu.com/news/18946425/detail.html#-
I will be praying for your family Daisuke. Thanks for the awesome 21 years you shared with all of us.
RiP Daisuke Kaneko--March 16, 2009
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| Man, this last week was simply AMAZING! I got to spend time with a lot of good friends and met a lot of new people. I was super lucky, no, blessed, to be able to go to the snow twice this last week. I went to Northstar last Wednesday and had a super sweet time with Alyssa, Briana, Jason, Michelle, Sam and Stephen. We hit this day trip right after the huge snowstorm rested for 1 day, and there was 20+ inches of powder in Tahoe the day before! We went, and it was perfect weather, sunny and sweet. We did get stuck on the gondola due to power failure. But, even so, we got to hit the slopes on an amazing day, and although I got a little impatient with the power loss, in retrospect, I don't care one bit, because the fellowship and the boarding the rest of the day way overcompensated for that slight setback.
Anyways, I got to go yet AGAIN on Saturday, when there was ANOTHER break in the storm! So blessed and so amazing. The snow was whiter than the last trip, and it was even sunnier and Hotter!, it was almost as if it were spring. This time I got to meet new people, some of Sam's friends from San Jose. It was pretty awesome meeting them, but was best was that I got to spend the whole day in the snow with Steph =]. Most amazing day ever, beautiful, and got to spend it with the girl I love =].
In between all the snow boarding, I was resting, recuperating, chilling, doing NOTHING. This has been the best winter break so far, the best start. And it will be super sweet at the end of it, but in the meantime its going to be a bit tiresome. I am currently studying for the DATs this break and ideally I want to take it before I go back to school, so that I can reward myself with ANOTHER DAY in the snow on the 30th =]. I am so lucky, so blessed, and I know that just living through this week that everything is going to be okay. God is in control and there is no point in worrying about anything, becase He is going to take care of EVERYTHING.
Thanks God.
Happy Early Birthday Jesus
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| Disclaimer: Don't read this if you have better things to do--it is just a rant.
So I know I'm not the best of the blogger and I guess I don't have so much to say.
I've been so busy lately, which may be a reflection of the few posts. I have been wanting to post for a while, but I never found the time, and I still don't know why I'm doing this now, because I should really be sleeping at 335 in the morning.
So good news:
I finally think I have my plans set, although like always, are subject to change. But here it is for now. Finish this Kaplan Review Class for the DAT and take the DAT sometime this winter or spring. Apply for Dental Schools by the fall, sit and wait and see if I can get into dental schools, relax and enjoy being a senior.
Bad news:
I honestly feel extremely overwhelmed. I thought the classes I was going to take this semester weren't going to be extremely bad. I felt I would be able to cope with it and all would be good and dandy. EXCEPT that I was totally wrong. ESPECIALLY with this Kaplan Review Class. It only lasts 6 weeks, but with all the work that I have to put in (class time, homework, review, previews), I have like at least 14 hours of work per week. (6 hours of class + 2-3 hours for preview for each class + 1-2 hours review) That's like frikkin a 8 unit course-load or so.
So on top of my 15 units as is, I have another 8 unit course. Making me deal with 23 units. I know it is not impossible and I'm doing okay right now, and I know people have and are in worse situations than me, but I can't help but to feel that I am incapable. I am insufficient, inadequate.
I know that I should be casting my cares upon the Lord and that He is enough and sufficient for me and that He can help me through all of this. But at this point (only a week or so into the DAT course) I feel I have no life, I feel that I don't have time to do the things I enjoy, because if I'm not studying for the DAT, I'm studying for school, and if I'm not studying for school, I'm studying for the DAT. I can't find rest, I'm up til nearly sunrise every night, going to hours on hours of class. I rarely have time to exercise, I don't have time to socialize and hang out with people. I feel bad because many more people have come to my apartment this semester, which is a wonderful thing! I just feel bad because I can't do much with them, because my head is stuck in a book.
There is so much more going on that I would be up for another hour and half just typing away my life, but I will save all of you that boredom and me the trouble.
I still try to do everything (study, DAT, serve, exercise, friends), and will continue to try. I don't know when I will peter out, hopefully not for a while. I feel I am being stretched extremely thin and anything slight can and will just break me apart.
I know this post was a rant, and I hate to bore people with my problems and challenges. Thanks for listening if you did, and for those of you who read the disclaimer and went away from this page (you probably won't be reading this) haha I guess I don't know what to say to them.
I really miss those good old days as a little kid, where all I would do is run around and play, never worrying about a single thing, never having a single care, except to have fun. Life just gets more and more complicated as the years progress.
=sigh=
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| I really wish I deserved His grace. I know I have it, yet I still sin. And it makes me sick to my stomach knowing that my sins are forgiven, even the ones I have not committed yet, and I still sin. It makes me feel like I am taking advantage of God. And with that feeling, I truly just feel horrible, and yet as hard as I had striven to be a follower of Christ, I slipped up many a times, and I know that it will be the same in the future. My sinful nature could get worse, or it could improve, but either way, I feel inadequate.
Your Grace is Enough - Chris Tomlin
Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart
So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me
Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along
So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me (x2)
So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me
Your grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your grace is enough for me
God I see your grace is enough
I'm covered in your love
Your grace is enough for me
For me
Power of Your Love - Geoff Bullock (Hillsongs)
Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I've found in You
Lord I've come to know
The weaknesses I see
In me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love
Surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love
As You live in me
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds in my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love
God forgive me of my sins and set me free from my burdens. Help me to come closer to you.
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